Strengths and Weakness

Like most people, I grew up with the idea that we should focus on our weaknesses and make them stronger. I've wondered about whether that idea was sound, and the last few years has poked serious holes in that philosophy.

Most people are taught to look at weaknesses and focus efforts to develop those into strengths. 

But there's a major issue with that. For some people certain weaknesses may never become a real gift. For others weaknesses will only become strengths (new gifts) after other requirements are met.

Some people who focus on their weaknesses may develop resentment towards others. They may feel inferior or untalented. With constant focus on where they are weak, self confidence usually lags and deteriorates. 

Kids whose strengths are set aside to work instead on weaknesses may become unfocused, unwilling, and uncooperative. Some may act out or act up. 

Focusing your strength, efforts, and energy on your weaknesses tends to weaken self-esteem, courage, confidence, and commitment. Instead of lifting you up to greater heights, you're more likely to settle with the mediocre.

In my personal experience, by focusing on my weaknesses my strengths languished. Trying new things was uncomfortable because those were usually new weaknesses that would further demonstrate my inability. 

I have a gift for learning things and I'm able to pick things up quickly but many of the skills and knowledge I've acquired were never forged into real strengths. Why is that? I believe it's for two main reasons. 

First, I often didn't have the desire to put in the time and effort. I may like the activity but it wasn't something that I relished doing. 

Second was that I usually felt inferior to others because my self-confidence was lacking. I felt like I had very little to give me strength to push through the fear, the feeling of inadequacy, and to feel like I was good enough.

One of the great gifts I received was to write. I discovered this in second grade. I love writing. I love learning and sharing what I learn through the written word. I love creating and writing stories and sharing those.

But in high school and college well-meaning teachers and professors shifted my writing to the accepted academic style. I became good at the prescribed essays and research papers, but I didn't enjoy them. To me writing became more tedious and less fun. And where creative writing was concerned, I was strongly discouraged from trying to be an author.

So I went other directions and chased other interests, skills, and abilities. And I had great experiences and gained valuable skills. But I've longed for the creative expression of writing. There is little that can get me into "the zone" like the creative process of writing. 

Over the last few years I've rediscovered my love and enjoyment of writing. I've felt like I've had to dust it off. 

And I discovered something else. 

As I began to focus more on my strengths (like writing), other areas of life seemed to come more into focus. Things that weren't as important were more easily identified, and it became easier to say "No" to things that really weren't important.

I discovered that my willingness to try other things is increasing. 

 I also found that other gifts were opening up to me, some that I didn't expect.

The most unexpected was to learn that I actually like giving presentations and teaching people. That is, I was learning I kind of like public speaking. Yes, it was a bit of a shock to acknowledge.

I've never felt comfortable with speaking. Being an introvert and extremely uncertain socially, it always feels like words get stuck or come out wrong. Writing was a way to get words out.

Before I saw public speaking as a huge weakness and something to fear. But as my confidence began growing in other areas and I learned some things about speaking, I had several occasions to share a few presentations.

I still wouldn't call myself a really great public speaker. But, for an introvert, I'm not bad at all. And it's a thrill when someone comes up afterwards and expresses appreciation for what I shared.

Public speaking was something I had considered a weakness that is becoming a strength and I attribute that to increasing self-confidence as I've worked on improving my strengths.

That said, I still don't enjoy initiating small talk with new people. And, as odd as it may sound, I don't like large group gatherings. I feel drained being around a lot of people like at a concert or parade. 

When I hear those who teach that we should focus most of our energy on improving our strengths I wholeheartedly agree. It's not that weaknesses are ignored. It's just that weaknesses are not the focus of our mind and heart energy.

It's actually detrimental to focus our energy on our weaknesses because it is at the cost of building our strengths.

Some may try to make a war comparison where you should find your weak points and strengthen them. The problem with this comparison is it's too simplified. Effective military strategy shouldn't put it's primary focus, time, energy, and resources on weakness but strengths. It's not that weaknesses are dismissed, it's more like, what strengths do we have that can offset the weakness? 

We don't ignore weaknesses. We become aware of them, but they should not consume us. We should not expend our resources on weaknesses especially if there is greater value (return on investment/time/resources) in improving our strengths.

In successful companies this is focusing on their unique selling proposition, the special ingredient, the secret sauce, the propriety method, the thing that sets you apart from others.

It is good to know our weaknesses and to work on them. But it's detrimental to focus our energy on them at the cost of our strengths.

My observation is by focusing and encouraging growth in our strengths our confidence grows. We become more sure of ourselves and our abilities.

As our confidence and self-worth increase, the interesting thing is other areas of life tend to start to improve as well. 

Often people become more willing to try something new because when they feel better about themselves. 

Self-confidence is a key ingredient of courage and acting in faith.

And, as odd as it may sound, self-confidence is an important part of humility. Self-confidence is not pride or ego. It's a trust in one's judgment and abilities. And if we're humble enough to learn, humility enables us to gain courage and confidence to act and claim new gifts

Self-confidence is an element of faith and trust. It's an assurance that you can step into the dark and discover the next step lit before you.

As you strengthen your gifts, don't ignore other potential gifts. There are many gifts that will complement each other

Despite what most people think, everyone has the potential for many gifts in the way of talent, skills, and ability. The problem is most people never bother to reach for other gifts. They don't bother to ask, reach for, and accept them.

We have weaknesses not to focus on them, to rob us of our strength and energy, but to help us be humble. 

Humility helps us realize others have strengths where we are weak. As we open our minds and hearts to the gifts and strengths of others, we learn to appreciate and value them. Humility helps break down prejudice and pride. 

And with humility, our strengths can become stronger. We may also discover that God will make weak things become stronger as well.