Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a key to change. For this post, mindfulness is basically the same as awareness. We cannot change something if we don't know what it is we should change. We need to become aware of what should be changed. Where habits are concerned, awareness, or mindfulness, aids us in eliminating a bad habit, modifying one to make us better, or firmly establishing a new one.

Too often we do things out of habit, where we don't really even think about what it is we're doing (or thinking). Many habits can be likened to muscle memory where something is done with very little, if any, conscious thought. Our subconscious mind does things in the background based on whatever inputs it receives. These inputs--which are generally external--trigger internal processes, paradigms, beliefs, or mindset response. Some even refer to this as internal programming. We could even refer to some of these as conditional or habitual responses.

Our processes began when we were infants, and continued to develop through childhood and into adulthood. Some of our programming is genetic, but genetics has little to do with whether or not the program/response can be changed. It just means we are more susceptible to certain inputs and suggestions.

Most of the habitual responses and internal programming we have are conditioned by environmental or external influences. We are trained--whether intentionally or unintentionally, both of which train our subconscious--on what we perceive and accept as an acceptable response. Things like how to dress, eating etiquette, how to speak, and how to act or react. Some of that training is intentional. Some are things we picked up watching or listening to others. And some are things we wanted to do, even if we had no immediate example, and we pursued it. Sometimes our conditioned responses are in 

Habits and addictions are examples of this subconscious programming. Habits are formed and we end up doing something because we have "always" done it. Often there is an emotional, or feeling-related, component of the habit. Maybe the emotional response is because of a pleasurable feeling or an avoidance of something we perceive as being painful in some way.

Addictions are formed when we choose to do something and that thing has a strong emotional impact on us. Some will argue and claim there is a psychological or physical aspect, but think about it. Would someone really smoke if they didn't get something that made them feel better? What about alcohol or drug use? The emotional response is a physiological response that affects us psychologically and physically. Some people are more susceptible psychologically or physically and can become more easily addicted. 

Addictions are a step beyond habits. Often addictions come as we become attached to some kind of emotional high, a rush of a feel-good feeling, or the feeling of forgetting (momentarily) some negative feeling. We are conscious of that feeling and we begin thinking about how the addiction or habit made us feel and we think about, and desire, more of it. Often we look to that same thing that gave us the feeling for a repeat of that feeling. This is how thoughts and actions are planted into our subconscious.

A problem a lot of us face when we attempt to change a habit or addiction is that we look at it only from the logical side of reason. We usually don't acknowledge the emotional side or if we do we discount it.

Mindfulness is becoming more aware of what we are doing and what we are thinking and, most importantly, how we are feeling. We don't necessarily have to know or understand why we are doing something. The first thing is to become aware of what we are doing.

Becoming aware, mindful, of our thoughts, words, and actions are a big step towards changing them. We then need to become aware--mindful--of how we are feeling before, during, and after.

We could also refer to this as "being present" or "being in the moment."

The auto-pilot of our subconscious makes it easy for us to do things while thinking about or even doing other things. It's very easy for our muscle-memory--whether it's actual muscle performing an action, a thought, or something we say--to carry us forward. But if we're not aware, not mindful, or not present then it becomes more of a challenge to change our conditioned response.

When we work on changing a habit, whether it's changing or eliminating and replacing it, we need to become more mindful of the new habit and begin associating it with a positive feeling. This can even just start with a small congratulations from ourselves to ourselves, a pat on the back, a smile and "I did it" to begin associating the new with a good feeling.

If our emotional mind does not associate the new action with something positive, particularly a good feeling, then that action has less force. The conscious mind can say anything it wants, but if there isn't a valued emotion attached to it, it will have little effect on the subconscious, and there's little chance of it replacing and old action.

We want to do things that make us feel good. Just because something is good for us doesn't mean we want to do it. If we can associate positive feelings with the action, then it becomes more attractive to us.

But we can increase our chances of success by attributing pain with the old response/habit/action/etc. If we can associate the old habit as being undesirable, emotionally painful in some way, then it can become easier for us to move away from pain and towards pleasure.

I'm sure I'll have more to say about mindfulness, awareness, or "being present" in the future.