Childlike End Focus

 As adults we have a really difficult time making any serious change, quantum leaps, in our lives.

Children easily do it, especially young children. Why is that?

It's all about where the energy is focused.

Children aren't concerned about technique. They're not worried about the "right" way or best way to do something. It's rare you get a parent coaching a child on "proper" and socially acceptable walking techniques. And most little children care little about what others think, they just see what they want--that end result--and they go for it.

On the other hand, most adults are fearful about not "doing" something "right". Not to mention most of us want to do something right the first time. Wow! Do we have it backwards. How often does anything happen right the first time we try it? Probably never.

When a child does do something for the first time (which "first time" is usually after many attempts), the child discovers something. Potential. Achievement. Satisfaction. The realization of a goal, a desire, a dream.

Children are more open-minded. They haven't been indoctrinated with what is socially accepted or expected. They're not conditioned to believe they should be embarrassed and fear that social embarrassment if they do something "wrong".

Kids believe and live in experimentation. Most, especially when they're little, have almost no fear of failure. They are focused on that they want.

The "how" comes as the child takes steps towards the goal. Although it may be possible, I'm not aware of any small child who decides what they want and then sits around trying to figure out all the steps to reach their goal. They usually just start trying to go for it. Usually it's an adult, or older child, who becomes the discouragement, and tries to keep expectations "realistic" to reduce potential disappointment or embarrassment.

When something doesn't work for little children, they try something new or they make a change. They adapt. To the child, the "end" is more important than the "how" or "means" to get there.

What about for us adults? Most don't have any problem wishing for something better. We choose a goal that we want, but then we start trying to decide if we already have what it takes to reach that goal. Do we have the right technique? Do we have the resources, skills, and knowledge that we believe are needed?

We become preoccupied with and focused on the "how" and the "means" to get to the end rather than with the "end" itself. As we grew up we quickly forgot that the "end" is what is important, not how we get there.

Think of it this way. When our focus is on the how and means, that is where our energy goes. Our energy doesn't go beyond that and we continue to be stuck.

Or if want to look at it through the Law of Attraction, what are we attracting into our lives when we're concerned with the how and means? Where is it that our energy flows to? Our energy attracts more concern about the how and means. 

Here's an advantage children have.

Encouragement comes from those around them. They're surrounded by those who believe the child can make the changes necessary.

Often children get lots of positive emotional feedback. Rarely are the child's cheerleaders telling the child it's impossible, to give up, make easier choices, forget your dream and live in reality. And those cheerleaders and "coaches" give helpful suggestions and encouragement. They may guide the child in his/her choices but they stand out of the way so the child can take his/her own steps.

As adults we seldom have a good cheer squad or supportive coach to lovingly push us a little harder than we might push ourselves. This is why it's important to be mentally and emotionally aware of how we are affected by others.

To reach our goals, to achieve quantum leaps, most of us need someone who supports us, who is willing to hold us accountable for our choices and actions.

But some children grow up severely disadvantaged by adults who don't teach them to value choice, accountability, and the joy of personal development.

Parents who step in and take over, who are fearful the child will make a wrong choice, or who become so safety conscious that they're afraid to every let the child fall and get hurt end up teaching detrimental lessons. They teach that the child should be coddled and cared for at every step. They teach an expectation of entitlement, a "right" to enjoy the fruits of success without making the efforts. They teach the child to throw fits and tantrums to demand what he/she wants and that he/she deserves it. 

Here's something interesting I realized today. By focusing so much on the how and means to reach my goal, I have attracted more courses, videos, articles, etc. into my life that help with discovering the hows and means. But I'm not closer to reaching my goal because that is not what I've been attracting.

Instead, I need to focus my mind on what it's like to be at the end. How do I feel? What am I doing?

It will be interesting, with this realization, how the next few months will change as I shift my mind and focus to the end.

As I studied this, some scriptures came to  mind. I've been fascinated with how much the laws of success correspond to what God teaches in his holy word.

Consider these similar scriptures in the context of how to reach a goal. In the case of these verses, the goal is the kingdom of God.

Mark 10:13-15

13 ¶ And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them.

14 But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.

15 Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein.

 

Luke 18:16-17

16 But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.

17 Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein.

Matthew 19:13-14

13 ¶ Then were there brought unto him little children, that he should put his hands on them, and pray: and the disciples rebuked them.

14 But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

Look at those verses in a different way. 

The children fully believe Christ. They believe they can go to the kingdom of heaven and that by going to the Lord they're taking that step.

But the disciples think the children don't understand the "reality" of life, with all the requirements under the traditional laws. The disciples were rebuking the children, forbidding them from going forward towards their desire.

We make life harder than it should be because of our mistaken or misguided beliefs, our misperceptions, and thinking we need to know and understand all the hows and means to reach the our desired end goal.

We make life harder because we think, we believe, all those around us who rebuke us and forbid us from trying.

We need to become like little children and act towards our desired end with childlike faith. The end is our goal,  that it is where our energy needs to be focused.

Similarly, we need to follow the example of not rebuking or forbidding others. Just because we may not agree with or understand goals and dreams of others doesn't mean they aren't worthy. And we need to understand that none of us know all the hows and means to reach goals.