The Most Insidious Emotion

Society has constructed or defined certain feelings and emotions through the abstract construct of labeling the feeling. 

In a general sense, there are really only two sides an emotion can be on. And neither side is inherently good or bad. Each emotion just "is" but it's how we think and react that determine whether a feeling becomes good or bad.

Tony Robbins says emotions are either categorized as pleasure or pain. Others characterize our many different feelings as being different flavors or colors of either love or fear.

That said, we like to label things. This includes all the different emotions we can experience, even though the reality is emotions are personal and very subjective. One person's "happy" may be a little different than someone else's. But there is a general consensus or understanding of the emotions someone is experiencing when they are feeling a certain way.

In my mind emotions have labels. Happy, Sad, Grateful, Sorry, Excited, and on and on.

I had never considered "can't" as an emotion.

I'm one of those who has a really difficult time identifying certain, especially negative-related, emotions. It's like my conscious mind just wants to skip over them.

So when I was talking with someone about certain past emotional experiences, I wasn't getting an emotion I could identify. The word that came to mind, and which I started to say at one point, was "Can't"

I ended up describing the emotion as "being stuck" but I got thinking about the word my subconscious was apparently trying to use: can't.

As I've thought about it, "can't" is a powerful negative emotion. 

"Can't" is actually a very insidious. It can be beguiling, but it's extremely harmful. The easy excuse of "can't" entraps us, it's treacherous. "Can't" sneaks up in a subtle or stealthy manner to rob us of our abilities and potential.

"Can't" is often a complex swirl of other emotions that come together to be expressed as an inability. Not a disability, but an inability.

Disability and inability are not the same. Disability implies a difference in how something can be done compared to someone with "normal" ability. However, while disability may not be able to perform some task in the same way, the end result is essentially the same.

Can't is an inability. It's immobilizing. It keeps us from making decisions. It stops us from taking action. It robs us of confidence and courage. "Can't" is frequently reinforced by other negative emotions such as fear, trepidation, pain, hesitancy, feeling stuck, embarrassment, etc.

Think about how often "can't" comes up? 

And how often is it tied with a negative emotion that reinforces that inability?

For me, the "can't" emotion has been all too frequently used; too much and too often.

Awareness is the first step to making a change. I've been able to identify other negative emotions and have worked to change them when I start to feel them. I'm not perfect, but I'm getting better.

The tricky part of "can't" is there are certainly non-emotional uses for the word, so it's important to become aware of the context in which "can't" is used, especially when we use it to describe, justify, or rationalize why we are unable to do or experience something.

When "can't" is identified as an emotional inability, it needs to be chased out or replaced in our subconscious just as quickly as any other negative emotion.  

So I intend to listen to when I say "can't" and identify what it is I'm feeling. It's one thing to try to discipline ourselves, but it's more effective to change how we feel about something and go from "can't" to "how can I" or "I must." 

"Can't" is about scarcity. It's lacking. "Can't" is focusing on not having the resources, knowledge, talent, abilities, skills, etc. Shifting from "can't" to "can do" is about resourcefulness, discovering new ways, being open to new ways to do things, all of which are abundance related.