The Power of New Beginnings

 We should awake every morning thankful for the new day. We haven't filled the day with regrets and mistakes. It's a blank slate before us, for us to do with according to our choices.

A new beginning means that. We start over. We don't carry over the tally from the previous day (or days, weeks, months, or years). We begin anew with zero score.

Certainly we need to use the mistakes and regrets and shortcomings of the past to remind us of what not to do. Hopefully we can identify those thoughts that led us to those issues and avoid or change those initiating thoughts. Learn from the past, don't live in it.

Our past is just that, past. It'd done.

Unfortunately most people have a hard time letting go of the past.

Many people keep score of what someone else did, of offenses received (real or perceived), and/or of what they believe is "fair" and how they didn't get what was fair. Maybe it's keeping score of who did what and how many times. Maybe they believe the relationship they're in should be equal 50/50 give and take. Maybe they think they're constantly the one to give and others take. Maybe they feel like they're always asked to do things and others don't do their fair share of the work.

Perhaps you keep score more with what you did compared to others. Maybe you think you should do more, like others you see or read about on social media. Maybe your scorekeeping is just what you believe you should be doing, without comparison to others, but you're failing according to your personal expectations (which are probably too high to start with).

In any of these cases, as well as similar ones, keeping score can become toxic, especially to relationships. Scorekeeping will eventually affect your relationships with others and with yourself.

Learn from your mistakes and shortcomings but don't keep score. And don't compare yourself with others, that's keeping score. Everyone is unique, which means nobody is the same.

Average, or what some may think of as "normal", is only a measurement of a specific quality, attribute, or characteristics across a designated or selected population. But nobody is completely average. You might be average height, but other characteristics, attributes and personal qualities won't be. You have strengths others do not. You have weaknesses that others don't have. You have gifts that others don't.

When the Air Force tried to design the pilot seat of an aircraft to fit an "average" pilot they failed miserably. They had to redesign the seat to allow for all kinds of adjustments in fit their pilots.

So don't compare yourself to others. You are the only one you can compare yourself with. And you can only compare yourself with what you have actually done, not with what you think you should have done.

Too often we think we should have performed to a much higher standard than we did. We set high, and in some cases almost perfect, expectations on ourselves. We cause unneeded, unwarranted, and unhealthy stress. Then we fail to meet those self-imposed and unrealistic expectations and end up hurting our belief in ourselves.

Now this is not justification to set your bar too low, and it's not a reason to not dream.

On the contrary, we need dreams. We need to imagine. And we need those dreams and our imagination to be big. They need to become something we can vividly see and feel in our minds. These help motivate us to be better, to do better. We don't need to know or understand how exactly we can reach those dreams, only that we can see ourselves living those dreams and experiencing them.

If we keep score, we are looking backwards, to the past. This inhibits our ability to look forward. When we look back and see the score it keeps us from looking at our dreams. The "reality" of our past becomes a dictator for our future.

I am a Christian. I have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and I try to do my best to live his Gospel. I'm not perfect, and I certainly have many faults and shortcomings. The landmark event of Christianity is the Lord's atoning sacrifice which is the ultimate example of the power of new beginnings.

The great and miraculous thing is the atonement that the Lord made on behalf of all of us. Our Heavenly Father is a perfect God and he is perfectly just. That perfection means no unclean thing can live in his presence and there is no exception. All of our sins and failures to keep the commandments of God mean we cannot return to live with God if he is perfectly just because perfect justice requires the condemnation and consequences of disobeying commandments. We cannot become clean of our sins on our own.

Thankfully God also has perfect mercy, and it was that mercy that brought about the atonement of the Lord. The perfect life of Christ and his suffering and sacrifice at the end brought about an infinite and eternal atonement where the Lord is our mediator. The atonement satisfies the requirements of justice if the offender (us) accepts the conditions of repentance, and that repentance allows us to become clean so we can return to God, which allows God to also be perfectly merciful.

Through the atonement we can repent on a daily (or more frequent) basis, continually starting over with our sin scorecard. It is a miraculous thing, one that most of us fail to understand even in the slightest. But it is real as those who have learned to believe in and accept the Lord can attest.

And here's the remarkable bit. Most of us have the idea of repentance wrong. We attribute repentance as something one does after a sin. The truth is repentance is simply a change of mind and heart. It is a turning away. It is what we do to become better. It is making choices and doing actions that improve us, even if it's only in the smallest amount.

Tied closely to repentance is forgiveness. And forgiveness is letting go. It's not keeping score, whether it's in regards to someone else or ourselves.

So why can't we just let go of our own scores? There is nothing in life requiring us to keep score with others or with our self. 

I believe those who have the greatest joys in life are those who understand that the past is gone and done away. They realize the future is continually before us as the destination we are striving to reach. If we don't have a destination our life won't go anywhere and we won't have much joy in the journey nor in reaching a dream destination. But they key is in living today in the present.

The power of new beginnings is that we are not stuck in and held back by the past. We learn from the past, but we let it go because hanging on to it will hold us back. Holding onto the past keeps us from dreaming about the future by keeping us mired down in the reality of our past. The reality of past scores makes it difficult, if not impossible, for us to accept that the quality and joy of our lives can not just increase in small increments, but there can be astounding exponential leaps and jumps if we are not held back by those previous beliefs.

In the scorekeeper's mindset, yesterday's score limits the "realistic" expectations of today's score, and also sets an artificial limit on tomorrow's score. Scorekeepers are limited based on their rules and beliefs of the game, because they believe future realities are restricted by the past.

The new beginnings mindset is that yesterday is to be learned from, but it doesn't determine today or the future.

Holding on to the past is like adding more weight to your pack with each passing day; it continually weighs us down, slows our progression, and increasingly limits our ability to move and respond. More and more our focus we be on the weight we carry around.

When we can let go of the past our burden is lightened and it becomes easier for us to look forward and to move forward.

A common analogy is you cannot drive a car very effectively by focusing on the rearview mirror. Not only does looking back limit your perspective, but limits how well you can go forward. The reality of the road ahead is not determined by the roads you have driven past.

I do realize there are instances where someone may require assistance, guidance and/or counselling, to help shed the weight of, and move on from, the past. But the good news is it can be done. And if you're one who needs help, it's good that you can acknowledge that so take the step to get that help. That help may be in the form of trained professionals or a coach or mentor who can help you.